One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
