I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
