what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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