thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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