Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
