hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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