Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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