well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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