My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Found the puke drawer
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
