i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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