note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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