You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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