I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
