Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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