Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
