we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
