I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
