What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
