So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
birth control should be required to get into college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
