Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
