So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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