I look better un-naked...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
