Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
