I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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