Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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