This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
