I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
