At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
