Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
