508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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