Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So vagazzling was a success
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
