you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
