if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk is not a location!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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