So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
