oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
