It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
