Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this will be a night to untag.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
