There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
