omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
