I'm going to jail i love you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just forgot I was standing up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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