Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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