Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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