let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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