Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
