I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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