I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
