6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
