THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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