Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
