my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
