ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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