She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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