I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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